Baniya Aur Uski Paini..............................

Baniya : Kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : To kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : Mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!

Happy Holi Sms.....................

Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,
Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,
Humne dil se yeh advance mein
paigam bheja hai.

Malkin Aur Naukrani..........................

Naukarani: malkan ap udaas kyun hai
Malkan: tumhare sahab office ki kisi larki se payyar karte hai
Naukarani: nahiiiiin, sahab mujhe dokha nahi de sakte.

Sardar Appears In A Exam............................

Once Sardar came to know that the essay "My Friend" will be in his English language exams.But when he sits in the exam the essay was "My Father"....So he was confused alot but after a moment he got one very good idea. He thought hmmm I replace word friend to word father in essay. So What he writes:
I have many fathers but Dara singh is my best father. He often comes to my house.We do every work together.My mom also likes him very much. we paly together with mom...hahaha
and he writes in the result:
"A father in need is a father indeed"

Santa & Banta Search A Bomb...........................

Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station.
"What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta.
"Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Sardar in an interview............................

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer.

Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his certificates and then starts asking him questions.

Following is the transcript :

O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then

you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
S : Yes Sir.

Officer started asking questions

O : Above
S : Below

O : Front
S : Back

O : Left
S : Right

O : Male
S : Female

O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)

O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)

O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y......(Our sardar also shouts)

#Officer is now angry.

O : Get out
S : Come in.

O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.

O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected ........ ....... and This is how Santa Singh gothis job.

Identity Of The " VALENTINE ".........................

V= Valentine ; you are my only Valentine
A= i will Always be yours
L= Love at its most extreme
E= Everlasting love ; Ecstatic love.
N= Never-ending love
T= we will Always be Together forever
I= you being Intelligent and Innocent;
N= Natures naughty way of saying I luv you to
E= Eternity our love is so ever lasting.

"Mera Man "

Tumhe Ji bhar ke chumne do ,
Tumhe ji bhar ke pyar karne ko,


kyon karta hai mera man?

Tumhe apna banane ko,
Tumhe saso me basane ko,

kyon karta hai mera man ?


Tumhe bahon me bharne ko,
Tumhekhwabo me dekhne ko,

kyon karta hai mera man ?

Santa & His Slam Book

1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!

I'm sending out some cards................

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Rango ka Tyohar- "Holi"

Lal, gulabi, neela, pila hathon me liya samet,
Holi ke din rangenge sajni, kar ke meethi bhent.

Rango mein ghuli ladki kya laal gulabi hai,
Jo dekhta hai kehta hai kya maal gulabi hai,
Pichle baras tune jo bhigoya tha holi mein,
Ab tak nishani ka woh rumaal gulabi hai

When Santa Rides a Horse

Santa horse par ja raha tha.

Voh red light jump karta hai.

Police vala siti bajata hai.

Santa ghode ki tail opar kar ke kehata hai: Le karle number note.

Valetine Day Special.......................""

IF A BUTTERFLY COMES CLOSE TO U"

IF A PERFUME ROSE TOUCHES YOUR FACE ,

IF YOUR MOBILE SOUNDS ON NICE TUNE "

"MIND" ITS ME , DESIRES TO TELL YOU........



"""""HAPPY VALENTINE DAY """"""

******************************************************************

Mayavati and Monkey

Mayawati ik ped pe chadi. Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aayi?

Mayawati: Apple khane.

Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.

Mayawati: Pata hai, Apple saath laayi hoon.

A Sardar & his Wife

A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”

Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months

Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!

*************************************************************

Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye.

Santa at medical college

Santa Applied to a medical college But he never made it because, these were his Answers:

Antibody: One who hates his body

Artery: Study of fine paintings

Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria

Coma: Punctuation Mark

Gall Bladder: Bladder of a girl

Genes: Blue Denim

Labour pain: Hurt at work.

मुझसे शादी करोगी

एक फिल्म अभिनेत्री 15 वें माले पर स्थित अपने आवास की बालकनी में रेलिंग पर खड़ी अपने प्रशंसकों का अभिवादन कर रही थी कि अचानक संतुलन खो बैठी और नीचे गिरने लगी। 12 वें माले की रेलिंग पर खड़े हुये एक नौजवान ने उसे अपनी बांहों में पकड़ लिया और पूछा - ''मुझसे शादी करोगी ?''
''कभी नहीं''- अभिनेत्री ने नफरत से जवाब दिया । ''तो जाओ मरो!'' कहकर नौजवान ने उसे छोड़ दिया और वह फिर नीचे गिरने लगी।
11 वें माले पर खड़े एक अधेड़ ने हाथ बढ़ाकर उसे फिर पकड़ लिया और पूछा - ''मेरी प्रेमिका बनोगी ?''
''हर्गिज नहीं!'' उसका इतना कहना था कि इस आदमी ने भी उसे छोड़ दिया। बेचारी अभिनेत्री को अब मौत साक्षात नजर आने लगी। वह ईश्वर से एक और मौका देने की प्रार्थना करने लगी कि तभी आठवें माले पर खड़े एक आदमी ने उसका हाथ पकड़ लिया।
''मैं तुमसे शादी कर लूंगी......! मैं तुम्हारी प्रेमिका बनूंगी.....! रखैल बनूंगी ! सब कुछ करूंगी!'' अभिनेत्री आदमी के कुछ बोलने के पहले ही भयातुर होकर कहने लगी।

''बदचलन औरत..... !'' आदमी ने कहा और हाथ छोड़ दिया।