A young deaf-mute couple gets married. At first, they have sex with the lights on, in order to sign to each other.
One day, the woman asks, "Can we try to make love with the lights off?"
The man says, "OK, but how will you know when I want to make love?"
The woman says, "Well, when you're in the mood, just shake my left breast once, and I'll know. If you don't want to, shake my right breast once."
The man says, "All right. And if you want to make love to me, shake my penis once, if you do not want to make love to me, shake my penis about 50 times."
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The World's Funniest Jokes of Office Party
John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
'Louise,' he moaned, 'tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?'
'Even worse,' she said, her voice oozing scorn. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.'
'He's an idiot,' John said. 'Piss on him.'
'You did', came the reply. 'And he fired you.'
'Well, screw him!' said John.
'I did. You're back to work on Monday.'
'Louise,' he moaned, 'tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?'
'Even worse,' she said, her voice oozing scorn. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.'
'He's an idiot,' John said. 'Piss on him.'
'You did', came the reply. 'And he fired you.'
'Well, screw him!' said John.
'I did. You're back to work on Monday.'
Saturday, December 6, 2008
one liners and party fun jokes for christmmas
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !
How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !
What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !
Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !
Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !
How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !
Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !
one liners and party fun jokes for christmmas
Friday, December 5, 2008
See that, baby?
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Source:http://www.jokes.com/
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Source:http://www.jokes.com/
Thursday, December 4, 2008
डॉक्टर - रामू के लतीफ़े
दुर्घटना के बाद अस्पताल में भर्ती रामू ने आंखें खोली, तो डॉक्टर को सामने पाया।
डॉक्टर (रामू से)- मेरे पास तुम्हारे लिए दो खबरे हैं एक अच्छी, एक बुरी। पहले कौन-सी सुनाऊं।
रामू (डॉक्टर से)- बुरी ही सुना दीजिए।
डॉक्टर- हमें ऑपरेशन करके तुम्हारे दोनों पैर काटने पडे़ हैं।
रामू- क्या इसके बाद भी कोई अच्छी खबर हो सकती है।
डॉक्टर- हां, अच्छी खबर यह है कि वार्ड ब्वॉय तुम्हारे जूतों को अच्छी कीमत देकर खरीदना चाहता है।
डॉक्टर (रामू से)- मेरे पास तुम्हारे लिए दो खबरे हैं एक अच्छी, एक बुरी। पहले कौन-सी सुनाऊं।
रामू (डॉक्टर से)- बुरी ही सुना दीजिए।
डॉक्टर- हमें ऑपरेशन करके तुम्हारे दोनों पैर काटने पडे़ हैं।
रामू- क्या इसके बाद भी कोई अच्छी खबर हो सकती है।
डॉक्टर- हां, अच्छी खबर यह है कि वार्ड ब्वॉय तुम्हारे जूतों को अच्छी कीमत देकर खरीदना चाहता है।
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Santa Banta on High Capacity Bus
Santa and Banta landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a high capacity bus. Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta.
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta!
What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta!
What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
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